~Art of Listening~ (12 Steps)
~Advocate For Success~Regan Starr~https://www.facebook.com/intent2tech reganstarr@gmx.us
https://www.facebook.com/intent2tech intent2tech@gmx.com
August 11, 2012 at 4:32pm
Basically,When we talk to others, we want to know that the person across from us cares about our opinions, thoughts and feelings. It is more than just listening to someone that will drive their heart open and feel appreciated for the information that they are trying to get across to us. In hopes that you care as much as they do about the subject. Treat others how you want to be treated is a old rule Yes but it is the GOLDEN rule that makes true sense about the connection between others and responding back with the same positiveness gets you positive results back.
In 2012 it is so unfortunate that , these days, listening & treating others how you want to be treated is becoming a lost mythical tale. Today's society is to busy and there’s no end to the distractions in our everyday lives. Listening is a skill that most, if not all of us need to improve on greatly. It will improve GREATLY in Business & Personal lives. It will also make you more intelligent by obtaining the knowledge. Some people in our Society are natural listeners, but most the Society needs to learn, how to be a good listener and practicing will Improve our lives.
Did you know that you can buy educational books, CD's and DVD's, and games to practice listening?
Sometimes, the best way to learn how to do something is to observe how others are messing up, see how you match up and what you can do to change. For listening, that would mean learning to pick out the signs that someone is not listening to you.
Now, you are wondering, how can you tell if someone you are talking to is not really listening? Hmm....
1. No eye contact (-)
The best way to stay focused and not distracted by everything else that is going on is to look the person you are talking to in the eye. Push yourself! You may feel silly and be nervous that you are holding the eye contact for so long but Remember that person is going to feel important that you are obtaining the information and you care. No eye contact means, that chances are the person is already drifting off into other thoughts.
2. MONSTROUS statements are not challenged? Listening, I think not!
Funny sometimes but, if you suspect someone is not listening to you, try slipping in some kind of monstrous sentence without changing the tone of your voice. I use I am going to the moon! Funny, it gets them every time. . If the person just “uh hum’s” me, This is my PROOF. they’re not listening to me at all and I have lost their attention.
3. No response...............................................................................................................................
So you, ask a question or you’re finished talking and there’s silence. (No response). You wait..... and there is still no response.… You start to wonder what the other person is thinking about. Right? It most surely they are not comprehending,what you just were talking about.
4. The same interjection (!)
Interjection is the same phrase expressive of emotion with the speaking of an exclamation or word. When you are listening by routing without really hearing or internalizing the conversation, you are using interjections to show that you are still listening. If, someone keeps using the same uh huh or yeah, especially if there is no contact probably means they are once again not listening and you completely lost their attention.
5. NO ? questions ?
When, people are interested in you and your information they, ask questions because they are inquisitive about what you are saying and want to retain your information for their personal purpose.
6. No (paraphrasing) repeating..repeating..
Another secure way to know that, people have heard what, you have said is, (paraphrasing) repeating what you have said. Again, they are inquisitive because when someone is interested in, what is being spoken about, they ask questions that (paraphrases) repeats, what they have just heard instructing that, they understood what has or had been said.
7. They are doing something else
Multitasking is said to be a great accomplishment. If, you are not focusing on one thing at a time you are not putting your best into it. Doing something and listening together is difficult as your mind fades in and out and you do not obtain all the information because you are distracted. . While text-ing, Internet or watching TV while tin a conversation are definitely secure signs that there is no interest, something like washing dishes while the other person stands next to you might be okay.
8. Constant interruptions...Don't they just get to your last nerves?
If, someone is listening they hear you out right? When someone is listening to what you have to say, they don’t interrupt you in mid sentence to tell you what they think or what’s on their mind. Many people mistakenly think listening means having a conversation while you are explaining the information to them. Sometimes it is, but only when the other person is done talking or asks you a question??
9. Inappropriate ->Giggling, Belching, etc.
When someone is not listening to you they often have to guess what response is expected. Talking about how your boss is ready to fire you and having someone laugh is a dead giveaway that, they were not truly listening or giving you their attention. : (
10. Facial expressions are inappropriate : ) : ( : O : / ;-)~
Similar to the inappropriate giggling. An example, is when you are talking about something sad and the person is smiling at you. (Mostly, through glazed eyes and a smile)
11. Easily distracted um....what? What did you say?
If someone is easily distracted while talking to you and is constantly jumping up for this or that, or answering other people in the middle of your conversation, They are NOT listening!
12. There is snoring through the woods. Is it a Bear?
There’s nothing worse than talking to someone and realizing that the person found your conversation so completely boring that they fell asleep. Yes, asleep! It makes you feel even worse, than when a phone conversation is disengaged and you soon realize, that the phone has disconnected you! You have been talking to yourself for the past five minutes. Frustrating!!!!! In this case, an accidental hangup can’t even take the blame but no one likes to be ignored or humored. Everyone likes to be listened to because when, someone listens to you it makes you feel that what you have to say is of importance and that the person cares about you in which you feel positive that the relationship with person or persons is continued on a great level of acceptance and understanding.
~Advocate for Success~Regan Starr reganstarr@gmx.us
~Art of Listening (12 Steps)
https://www.facebook.com/intent2tech intent2tech@gmx.com
Did you know that you can buy educational books, CD's and DVD's, and games to practice listening?
Sometimes, the best way to learn how to do something is to observe how others are messing up, see how you match up and what you can do to change. For listening, that would mean learning to pick out the signs that someone is not listening to you.
Now, you are wondering, how can you tell if someone you are talking to is not really listening? Hmm....
1. No eye contact (-)
The best way to stay focused and not distracted by everything else that is going on is to look the person you are talking to in the eye. Push yourself! You may feel silly and be nervous that you are holding the eye contact for so long but Remember that person is going to feel important that you are obtaining the information and you care. No eye contact means, that chances are the person is already drifting off into other thoughts.
2. MONSTROUS statements are not challenged? Listening, I think not!
Funny sometimes but, if you suspect someone is not listening to you, try slipping in some kind of monstrous sentence without changing the tone of your voice. I use I am going to the moon! Funny, it gets them every time. . If the person just “uh hum’s” me, This is my PROOF. they’re not listening to me at all and I have lost their attention.
3. No response...............................................................................................................................
So you, ask a question or you’re finished talking and there’s silence. (No response). You wait..... and there is still no response.… You start to wonder what the other person is thinking about. Right? It most surely they are not comprehending,what you just were talking about.
4. The same interjection (!)
Interjection is the same phrase expressive of emotion with the speaking of an exclamation or word. When you are listening by routing without really hearing or internalizing the conversation, you are using interjections to show that you are still listening. If, someone keeps using the same uh huh or yeah, especially if there is no contact probably means they are once again not listening and you completely lost their attention.
5. NO ? questions ?
When, people are interested in you and your information they, ask questions because they are inquisitive about what you are saying and want to retain your information for their personal purpose.
6. No (paraphrasing) repeating..repeating..
Another secure way to know that, people have heard what, you have said is, (paraphrasing) repeating what you have said. Again, they are inquisitive because when someone is interested in, what is being spoken about, they ask questions that (paraphrases) repeats, what they have just heard instructing that, they understood what has or had been said.
7. They are doing something else
Multitasking is said to be a great accomplishment. If, you are not focusing on one thing at a time you are not putting your best into it. Doing something and listening together is difficult as your mind fades in and out and you do not obtain all the information because you are distracted. . While text-ing, Internet or watching TV while tin a conversation are definitely secure signs that there is no interest, something like washing dishes while the other person stands next to you might be okay.
8. Constant interruptions...Don't they just get to your last nerves?
If, someone is listening they hear you out right? When someone is listening to what you have to say, they don’t interrupt you in mid sentence to tell you what they think or what’s on their mind. Many people mistakenly think listening means having a conversation while you are explaining the information to them. Sometimes it is, but only when the other person is done talking or asks you a question??
9. Inappropriate ->Giggling, Belching, etc.
When someone is not listening to you they often have to guess what response is expected. Talking about how your boss is ready to fire you and having someone laugh is a dead giveaway that, they were not truly listening or giving you their attention. : (
10. Facial expressions are inappropriate : ) : ( : O : / ;-)~
Similar to the inappropriate giggling. An example, is when you are talking about something sad and the person is smiling at you. (Mostly, through glazed eyes and a smile)
11. Easily distracted um....what? What did you say?
If someone is easily distracted while talking to you and is constantly jumping up for this or that, or answering other people in the middle of your conversation, They are NOT listening!
12. There is snoring through the woods. Is it a Bear?
There’s nothing worse than talking to someone and realizing that the person found your conversation so completely boring that they fell asleep. Yes, asleep! It makes you feel even worse, than when a phone conversation is disengaged and you soon realize, that the phone has disconnected you! You have been talking to yourself for the past five minutes. Frustrating!!!!! In this case, an accidental hangup can’t even take the blame but no one likes to be ignored or humored. Everyone likes to be listened to because when, someone listens to you it makes you feel that what you have to say is of importance and that the person cares about you in which you feel positive that the relationship with person or persons is continued on a great level of acceptance and understanding.
~Advocate for Success~Regan Starr reganstarr@gmx.us
~Art of Listening (12 Steps)
https://www.facebook.com/intent2tech intent2tech@gmx.com
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